T is FIVE

My sweet little guy is 5.  Wait, is that right?  No, he can't be five already!  That is not a little guy!  I'm really having a hard time with this birthday.  I'm not ready for him to grow up.  I'm not ready for this stage of life.  I like the freedom and flexibility we have to do school whenever we want, assuming we want to do it.  But at 5, kids start kindergarten at 5.  Yeah yeah yeah, we don't have to worry about that until next school year, but the fact remains that my kid is old enough to be in kindergarten.  He's just so BIG now.

We had a fun birthday party for him over the weekend.  He wanted a pumpkin patch theme and wanted it at our church.  So we bought pumpkins and set up his little patch.  We brought old tee shirts and painting supplies so the kids could paint their pumpkins.  I expected this to last a while.  It didn't!  But they were very happy to run around like little crazy people.  We had lots of balloons and a few games set up.  We didn't play many of the organized games I planned, though.  They were too crazy.  We were able to play 3 legged race, though.  It was fun.  T and his buddy B (who my sister used to nanny for, so we know him well) won both times.  I was honestly impressed with their strategy and team work!  The first round, they ran to the finish line like it was no big deal!  The second time, they fell down, but it didn't stop them from missing a beat.  They both crawled.  Ha ha!  The piñata was also a big hit.  I bought way too much candy!  Sorry other moms!

I don't think I have T's birth story written down anywhere, so I'm going to take this opportunity to share it :)

At 37 weeks, I was 3 1/2 cm dilated.  Doctor said he didn't expect me to be back next week!  Yeah!  Baby time!  Next week, I was still 3 1/2 cm.  Sigh.  Again, I left thinking I wouldn't make it to my next appointment.  Half way through the week, I have one contraction which pushed me up to 4, closer to 4 1/2 cm dilated, but still no baby.  For a month, I walked two laps around the mall every morning (it's a huge mall!) and then J and I walked laps around our apartment complex...over and over and over.  Still, no baby.  I was scheduled to be induced the day after my due date.  But finally, at 39 weeks and 5 days, I went into labor.  I called J as soon as I realized I was in labor (around 11) and asked him to come home.  It was a long drive and I was worried about being alone.  By the time he got home, I was having good, strong contractions and hopped in the shower until we ran out of hot water.  After that, we decided to head to my in-
laws house because they have a big Jacuzzi tub.  That was WONDERFUL.  The contractions hurt so much less when I was under the water.  But about 3 1/2 hours after the first contraction, we decided to head to the hospital.  J called to let them know and they told him I didn't sound like I was ready but I could be checked at their office if I felt like I needed to go.  I told him we were going straight to the hospital, not the doctors office.  I was 6 1/2 cm when we got there and so discouraged.  Soon after that, I was asking for an epidural.  Then my water broke.  That's about the time J suggested I wait to be checked again before getting the epi, because he knew how important it was to me to go med free.  9 1/2 cm!  Almost there!  Then labor stalled, I cried, almost threw up with every contraction, held onto J's arm, cried some more, then felt like I had to push.  Yay!  Baby time!  After a while of pushing, the nurse realized baby was sunny side up, which was making it hard to come out.  The doctor said he was too far down the birth canal to try to move him and he would have to be delivered that way.  YIKES.  But the nurse knew some tricks to encourage him to turn himself.  I pushed on my hands and knees for a long time and he eventually turned.  2 1/2 hours later, he was born.  After a total of 7 hours, my 8lb 8oz baby boy was born.  He left me with a 4th degree tear, but was otherwise the best baby.  Nursed ok, slept well, happy as can be.

Here is his yearly quiz :)
Favorite food- corn dogs
Least favorite- spaghetti
Favorite toy- the lazer tag and the remote control truck, both he got for his birthday
Favorite game- tag
Favorite tv show- spiderman
Best friend- little girl who used to live across the street, but moved to the single family area in our community (L)
Favorite place- Chick Fil A
Favorite color- blue
Favorite book- Where the Sidewalk Ends, by Shel Silverstein
Favorite song- Oh no, never let go
Future Career- Stay home to help Mommy with the children.  Ha ha.  He's such a sweet kid.  But this mommy is done having children!  ;-)

New Schedule

As I said earlier, I've reached the point where I'm completely overwhelmed and ready for some order in my life.  After talking with friends who seem to have it all together, and reading blogs of Christian homeschooling mothers, it seems like the people who have happy, productive, intentional lives are the ones who have daily schedules.  I'm kind of torn on this.  I like flexibility.  I like going wherever I want, whenever I want.  But something isn't working for me.  I am wondering if this is it.  Maybe I NEED more order to my life.  Maybe all this freedom and flexibility is actually causing me more stress and less real freedom (because if I have a time and place to do stuff, I'll have more free, fun time available instead of always feeling overwhelmed)?  I don't know, but I'm going to find out!  My friend and I sat down today and put together a schedule of how I'd like my day to run.  It's going to be hard because I'm not a very disciplined person.  I am still willing to try, though.  I figure, if this doesn't work, it's ok.  What I'm doing now isn't working anyway, so what's the harm in trying ;-)  So, here it is!  My new daily schedule!

7- wake up!
7:30- head downstairs and make breakfast.  After we eat, the kids will clear the table and then have quiet play while I finish cleaning up.
9- morning chores.  The boys have chores but we don't enforce them.  I will start.  I will also come up with daily chores for me.
10- school starts!  I will have a very specific schedule for school this year, too.  That's to come in another post.....
12- kids get an educational show while I get lunch ready.  Then we eat, clean up, and head upstairs where we rest from 1-2, or later if needed (like by L)
2-4- catch up on morning chores or school work.  Once that's done, it's time for free play.
4- afternoon chores (in other words, get ready for Daddy to come home...)
4:30- dinner prep.  The boys can pick another tv show or play on the electronics.  I hate that they will have all this screen time, but at this point in life, I'm going to just accept it and not beat myself up for it.  I have three children, my oldest isn't even 5.  I will show myself grace.  Lots of grace.  And someday, when life (hopefully) gets a little easier with the kids, they will have less tv time.
5:30- DINNER.. Yum.  Everyone helps clean the kitchen after.
6:30- time to head upstairs and start the bedtime routine.  Brush teeth, diapers, books, devos, kisses, water, good night! 
7:30- lights out!
After the kids are in bed, I would like to do a 15 minute clean up with my hubby, then prepare for the next day (review what's for breakfast, dinner, any outings, whatever) and then finally, kick my feet up and relax. 

Tomorrow, I want to spend some time figuring out what chores need to be done, by whom, and write it all down.  That way, when we start this schedule, the kids and I will know exactly what to expect.  I also want to be more specific in my meal plan.  I've done well planning dinners, but I think I need to start planning all meals and snacks out.  That took extra work up front, but it definitely made my week run smoothly.  So, there you have it!

Where has the time gone?

I realized the other day that it's been forever since I last blogged.  About two and a half years ago, I felt overwhelmed with house work, mothering, and life in general.  Well, baby girl is now the same age L was, and guess what!  I'm overwhelmed with, well, the exact same thing!  My house feels out.of.control!  We have way too much stuff and every time I start to go through it, I feel like we need to keep all of it. I feel guilty getting rid of things that were given to my kids, or things they picked out and bought (like Awana store stuff, or cheap stuff they spent "their" money one.  It's mostly pure junk).  If it's something big, like their basketball hoop, I feel like we spent too much money to just get rid of it!  We haven't gotten our money's worth from it.  But, they don't play with it so we probably never will.  And papers.  Those are the worst.  Stuff. Everywhere.  No where to put it!  Plus, we've decided that we want to pay off our car.  Besides our mortgage, it's our only debt.  BUT, God has convicted us that we need to pay that off.  We shouldn't be in debt to anyone, and while it's unrealistic to try to pay off our house right now, we need to put more effort toward paying off the minivan.  That thought is overwhelming, too.  Especially because I have a hard time passing up a shopping trip!  Those two issues kind of go together for me.  I have all of these grand ideas (thanks, pinterest) for how to organize my life, but those things cost money.  That's why it's overwhelming.  I feel trapped in a cluttered home, a cluttered life, with no way to escape.  God has also been working on my contentedness.  I cannot tell you how many times I have complained about one thing or another over the past couple of months.  The big one is that I feel like we have outgrown our house.  Like I said, we have too much stuff and nowhere to put it all.  I also feel like we NEED a yard.  A big one, with lots of room for two little boys to run and play.  And a driveway to ride bikes, scooters, and play with sidewalk chalk.  And we "need" a garage to store their bikes and scooters.  See, I have a long list of things we "need" and I have allowed myself to dwell on that way too much.  Thankfully, I have an amazing husband who knows when to (gently) call me out on these things and remind me that we have more than many people and we need to be thankful for what we do have instead of focusing on what we don't.  Sure, a yard would be amazing.  But we have parks nearby, a pool that we're members of, and a lake with beaches to swim and play in.  My boys have bikes and fun things, I just need to be creative about where to store them.  They won't feel like they are missing out on anything by not riding them in our driveway, because they're not.  They can ride their bikes other places.  Anyway, enough with my rambling.  I'm hoping that by getting back to this blog, I might become more disciplined and force myself to get my act together.  It worked two and a half years ago, so it should work again, right?  ;-)  But since it's been so long since my last post, I think I'll end this one with a recent picture of my sweet family:

Thanks, Lord, for working on me :)

As I said in the very beginning of my blog, waaaay back in January, one of my goals is to become a more loving and wise mother.  For whatever reason, that has been a very hard thing for me.  I love my kids, I really, really do.  But my goodness they can dance on my last nerve!  Disciplining in a loving and controlled way used to be a strength of mine, but once L joined our family, something in me changed.  I still desire to discipline my children that way, and I certainly believe that's the best thing for them, but it's just seemed impossible.  For a while, I tried to fix my attitude on my own.  I'd wake up and say to myself, "Today is going to be a great day!  I will not yell, I will remain calm even when the boys are out of control, and everything I do will be in love."  Those very same days, the boys would wake up and seemed to say to themselves, "Today is going to be a great day!  I'm going to scream, hit, bite, and throw the biggest tantrums the world has ever seen!"  It was two against one.  They won those battles.  That's when I started praying about it.  Yes, I prayed for my boys attitudes, but I mainly prayed for mine.  I needed to learn how to respond in a calm manner, to think before speaking (yelling?), to show them the grace my Savior showed me.  I prayed more out of desperation than anything.  Why do we wait so long before handing things over to God?  We think we can handle things on our own, but we can't.  I should have placed this in His hands months earlier.  It would have saved us all from unnecessary frustration and anger!  But anyway, back to the point... finally, FINALLY this week, I feel like I'm starting to get it back.  My old, calm parenting style, that is.  I have been able to handle situations with love instead of anger.  I was able to discipline while using self control instead of lashing out.  I know what the difference is...it's the fact that God is answering my prayer.  He's helping me learn how to be a better mother, a godly example of how a Christian should respond in hard times, how a child (I am God's child, after all) learns by following the Father's advice (the Bible).  I'll keep praying because I have a looooong way to go, but it's encouraging to see God's work in me :)

This is my ministry

We started a new Bible study at church last week.  It's something that's been missing for a while and it's nice to have a woman's Bible study during the week again.  The book we're studying is called You Matter More That You Think, by Leslie Parrott and it's all about how you are able to make a big difference in other people's lives.  It's nice to hear that sometimes, but it also got me thinking about where I am in my life.  Sometimes I think I need to be serving more.  Maybe I'm not doing enough for God.  That's how I felt after our first meeting.  They encouraged us to mentor those who are younger than we are, which I agree is extremely important, and Biblical.  So it was on my mind for a while.  Am I truly serving God the way He has commanded?  Do I need to start teaching Sunday School again?  Or do some other type of ministry?  I've actually stopped going to another study recently because I felt like it was more important to have that time with my family.  Maybe that was the wrong decision?  Those women are all at a stage of life I've been through (dating, engaged, or newly married) and I could definitely offer some of the things I learned by going through those stages.  I questioned my decisions and my ministries for a few days until Sunday during Church.  We had a guest singer and I completely forget what she was singing (it wasn't a song I had heard).  Whatever it was, it had me feeling even more like a spiritual slacker.  Then it hit me.  Right now, at this point in my life, my primary ministry is to my family.  I don't need my focus and my energy spread out thin in a thousand different ministries.  My children and my husband deserve more than that.  The difference I'm making is in their lives.  I'm teaching them through our daily routines and interactions.  Hopefully they see my desire to serve God and others.  I am exactly where God wants me to be.  Sure, some day He might want my back in a Sunday School classroom or encouraging younger women (well, these women aren't that much younger...just in a different stage I guess), but for now, my place is here with my boys :)

Just Shut UP!

Today is Wednesday and this is what God is teaching me this week.  I fail miserably at it!  Sometimes, I just need to stop talking and let God do His thing.  But I'm too much of a control freak to do that.  I also need to stop talking and be obedient to Him.  I don't know why I feel like I need to say everything that I'm saying, whether it is loving and kind or not. 

Another thing that I've been thinking about a lot lately, and I might have blogged about it, but I can't remember, is that the only things in this life that truly matter are the things that make an eternal difference.  I drove past a grave yard once and thought about all of the lives of the people in there.  Who were they?  What did they do for a living?  What kind of difference did they make in their lives?  I'll never know.  The people they left behind know the difference they made, but then those people die too and the memories and the difference made no longer matter.  My great grandma made a difference in my grandma's life, and in my mom's life, but I never knew her.  What she did has little impact on me.  And she will likely have no impact on my children, who will probably not remember the stories my mom tells of her.  Her legacy ends there.  BUT, she was a Christian and the lives she touched for Christ, now THAT makes a difference!  People will spend eternity with Christ because of what she did on earth.  No one cares now what she did for a living, but there are certainly people who care that she loved them with God's love.  I guess I don't really know how to express what I've been thinking, but it all makes sense in my crazy mind.  We need to stop focusing on stupid stuff, selfish stuff, stuff that seems so, so important but won't really matter in 100 years, and focus on making an eternal difference.

Wednesday's Walk on Friday :)

Post #2 of the day!  Wednesday's Walk with God.

I'm still reading my devotional that I love so very much (The Excellent Wife).  I just finished reading the section on respecting your husband.  Once again, this topic is something that many people today would get offended by or get really defensive over.  Showing respect to your husband, especially when you don't feel like they deserve it, goes against every thing feminist believe and fight for.  But, it's what God commands of us.  I was really convicted.  Overall, I think I do an ok job at respecting J.  I'm by no means perfect, but I try not to talk down to him in public and I try to lift him up and encourage him.  There are many times, though, that I get angry and don't think he deserves my respect for certain things.  There are times when I feel like he's making a bad choice or like he should do something for me or treat me (or the boys) a certain way.  Please do not read this wrong.  My husband is amazing.  Seriously amazing.  He is so good to my boys and me and there is never a doubt that he loves us.  He's still human.  He still makes mistakes.  As my mom would say, he's a great guy, but he's not perfect (hi mom:)).  Those are the times when I have a hard time showing him respect.  When I feel like he's being selfish, I give dirty looks, raise my voice, say things I shouldn't say.  I am very disrespectful.  If you were to point it out to me at that moment, I would probably say something along the lines of, "Well I don't think he deserves my respect right now!"  And you know, that may be true.  The book even says there may be times when your husband doesn't deserve your respect.  HOWEVER, the Bible does not tell us to respect our husbands only when we deserve it.  It says to respect your husband.  Period.  There are no exceptions.  We should show respect to him all the time.  That does not mean that we have to let him get away with treating us badly.  In fact, there is also a section that talks about rebuking your husband... respectfully.  When I need to tell my husband that he's making the wrong choice or that he has a bad attitude, I need to do it in a loving way, to uplift him and help him to change his way to honor God.  I shouldn't be mean or anything like that.  I shouldn't act like I'm perfect and know everything.

I finished that section last week.  On Sunday, I saw an example of a wife who showed disrespect to her husband.  Out in public, at church even.  It made me sad to see her treat her husband that way, and the look on his face broke my heart.  How sad that even Christians act that way toward their spouse... in God's house!  As wives, we need to pray that God will help us to be kind, patient, and loving toward our husbands.  When they deserve it, and when they don't.  We have a responsibility to obey God regardless of the circumstances.

(Me and the man that I am choosing to respect and honor when he deserves it AND those rare times he doesn't)

Wednesday's Walk with God: Contentment!

God has been teaching me that I need to be content over the past week.  I haven't shared this with the world yet, but my wonderful husband is searching for a job yet again!  It's beyond ridiculous and I'm tired of this!  He's a hard worker, I mean HARD worker!  Everybody and their brother want him, but there is always something in the way (currently it's his lack of top secret clearances, which he's working on.  He has the temporary clearances, but I guess the government decided suddenly, AFTER hiring him, that this isn't going to cut it).  He's talking about taking classes, maybe doing this or that, looking into this job, applying for that one, and so on and so forth.  I know what I want, I know what he's thinking and they don't always match up.  It's fine, though.  He's the head of our house, he's the one who has to go to work every day.  Our eventual goals are the same.  I respect him and trust him enough to do what he thinks is the best thing for our family.  That's where the contentment thing comes into play, though.  I keep dreaming about buying a house in South Carolina, of even better, Florida.  Somewhere warm, near the ocean, peaceful and quiet.  I'm tired of this DC living.  I'm dreading winter already and it's only July.  I'm ready to move.  But is that in God's plan for our lives right now?  Probably not.  And it's OK.  More than OK, it's where He has placed us and wants us.  He has a perfect will for my life and I may not know all the details, but I need to just let Him guide us, especially Jason, to the right place at the right time.   It may not be what I would choose, but when I look back at other things I've wanted in the past that God has said no to (or wait), I realize how much of a blessing it was that I did not get what I thought I wanted.  So, I'm choosing the be content.  I'm choosing to make the best of this crazy, career driven, stressful area.  I'm choosing to trust God :)

I know I haven't blogged much this week.  We have been busy with all this job stuff (J is searching like crazy for the best path to follow and trying to figure out if he wants a degree, a certificate, or something else to further his career), with T's swim lessons, which he loves by the way, and with other house projects.  Stay tuned for tomorrow's post about all the organizational progress I've made this past week!  I'm super excited about it!

Wednesday's Walk with God: Moving a different direction

I logged onto blogger today thinking I was going to post one thing, but my sister and my dear friend both posted similar things, so maybe God is trying to say something.  Instead of me getting in the way today, I'm just going to post links to their blogs first.  Read them before you read another word of this blog (click on "sister" and "dear friend")

Ok, now for what God has been teaching me.  With my husband's job situation and all of our lovely house problems, I've been stressing out about money recently.  I've been thinking a lot about two things.  First of all, I've been thinking about my responsibility to spend my money wisely.  I have a really hard time with this because I love buying things for my kids and my house.  Unlike most girls, I don't really have a hard time with buying lots of nice clothes, shoes, or designer purses, but I do have many other weaknesses.  Do my kids really need to brand new gymboree outfits when I can get thing adorable things at the thrift store?  They have tons of toys, do they really need another car/train/ball?  The second thing I've been learning is that I must put my faith in God, not in money.  It's easy to think that I need money to pay my bills, but I have to remember where that money is coming from.  I heard something on the radio the other day that has been going through my head a lot.  Some of you have heard this story, probably three times already, but it has helped me keep my focus so much that I feel like I need to share it again.  When you are stressed out about your finances, take that dollar and turn it around.  What does the back of it say?  It says "In GOD We Trust"  Where should our trust be?  Not in that dollar, but in God!

I hope that whether you have a million dollars or you have a million debts, that you are using your money to glorify God and using your money wisely.  I encourage you to look at your checkbook (or whatever you use to track your spending) and see if your money is going to build God's Kingdom, or your own.

Wednesday's Walk With God: Enjoying my devotional :)

So I mentioned a couple posts ago that I started reading a random book that I pulled out of my closet early one morning.  It's called The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace.  It's very old fashioned and definitely not politically correct, but I have enjoyed it!  It is all about a woman's role in the home.  I know many women can't stay home for one reason or another, or maybe some women choose to go back to work because they don't think they're "cut out" for being a SAHM, but I strongly believe that God's desire is for mothers to be home raising their children.  I know this is a VERY unpopular opinion and I have probably offended many of my few readers, but I'm ok with that.  I mean, I hate to offend people, but it's my blog and I am expressing what I believe.    Back to the book... I haven't been reading it very long, but I feel like everything I've read has been something that I am currently dealing with, something I have dealt with in the past, or something that pops up from time to time in my life.  If you are looking for a new book to read, I highly recommend it :)

Wednesday's Walk with God: Starting Over

I used to have a pastor who did not believe that God spoke to us other than through His Word. I have to say, I respectfully disagree! I full heartedly believe that God communicates to me on a regular basis. Take today, for example. The past couple of months have been hard on me. I have fallen way behind on my New Year's Resolutions. I've been feeling pretty guilty about it lately, but not to the point where I've changed my routine. I've had lots of very good excuses! We've traveled a lot. We've had a lot of sicknesses, including surgery on my baby boy's eyes. We have been stressed about J's job situation and other unexpected things that come up. And then there's just daily life trying to juggle two little boys and a home. See? These are all very good reasons why I haven't had time to focus on becoming a Proverb's 31 woman. But sometimes even the best excuses are not good enough. Since I am so stubborn and thick headed, God decided to make it very clear to me this morning when I woke up bright and early, before the kids even! I didn't want to go back to sleep because I knew that as soon as I did, L would be awake. So I decided to find my devotional (which I hadn't read in a little while... shame shame!). It was dark and J was still sleeping, so I accidently grabbed the wrong book, but decided that the one I had grabbed was good enough. I forget the name of it, but it was a book I had started years ago, when J and I first got married. I stopped reading it half way through and had a book mark in the spot I had left off. I decided to start there even though I don't remember what the first few chapters were about. The subject? A woman's role in the home. There it was, right there in writing, what I knew the Lord had been trying to tell me. It was the last thing I expected to read this morning. I thought I'd read about submitting to my husband, or serving him or something like that. NOPE! Not this time. I have a friend who calls that a spiritual spanking, and I'd have to agree with her. This was a wake up call that it's time, again, to take care of my house. It doesn't need to be perfect, but it needs to be a place of peace and comfort for my family. The way it is, is just causing stress and chaos for all who live here. That is NOT what a Godly woman's house should be... Ok Lord, I get it! And I'm hoping that by blogging again, I'll stay accountable longer than a month ;)

Craiglist, running, and crock pot disaster!

I know this is kind of different from my usualy daily theme, but I figured at this point, any post is better than no post :) I've had a pretty exciting day and wanted to blog about it so here I am!

Craigslist: I have recently started looking at craigslist for a few things. Ok, actually I've been looking for these specific things for a while now but never actually bought anything. Call me paranoid, but I've always been a little afraid of going to some stranger's house, giving them money, and then hoping they give me what I came to get instead of taking advantage of me or killing me. But we needed a jogging stroller and they are super expensive new. I decided that J is a big guy and can take care of himself, so if I found one I loved at a good price, I'd go for it. After months of casually looking, and a month or so of searching obsessively (kind of joking...), I found one I wanted to buy. J picked it up yesterday and we've already gone on a walk and a run with the boys in it. I have to admit, I'm in love. I didn't think I would ever end up with a side by side doublt stroller (too difficult to navigate through narrow mall stores...), but this stroller is amazing! It is so light and moves so easily! The boys seem to like it too. Anyway, after buying the awesome stroller, I decided to go ahead and try to get some diapers too. For anyone wondering, I cloth diaper. I love it but have had problems with the brand I was using (gave my Sweet T bruises along his spine). I've slowly been trying different brands and trying to find something that works better for our family. I have three top brands, one for the length, one for the cute prints (and yes, it actually does fit my boys well too), and one that is good all around but not at the very top of my list. My third favorite, the one that is good all around, was listed for $6 a piece!!! And she had 15 of them!!! The first brand listed above sells for about $20 each, the second brand for about $18, and this brand is usually around $12. Is that not amazing? Half price!!! And to make this deal even better (yes, it's possible!) The diapers are BRAND SPANKIN NEW! And the seller lives about 10 minutes from my house! I am so excited about this deal! I can offically stop using the bruisers (haha) and use diapers that I feel confindent in. I almost didn't buy them because I have grown to LOVE LOVE LOVE the fun prints! My little L has a diaper with monkeys on it even! And there are so many cute prints I've been eyeing. But God has been working on my heart. He has used even this situation to show my how prideful and un-content (my blog, I can make up words!) I am. Why do I feel like I should buy expensive diapers just because they have monkeys on them when I can get them for a third of the price plain??? Anyway, I listened and learned (or, rather, am learning) and now have tons of diapers for my boys.

Running: As I mentioned in the craigslist section, we bought a jogging stroller! Why did we buy a jogging stroller? Because I've started running! Yes, it's true, the girl who hates running is running. For the first time in my life, I ran an entire mile without stopping! Yahoo!!! I'm so excited! My goal is to be able to run 5K by June 4th, because I am signed up for my first race that day! Shocked? I don't blame you! But I'm really excited about it. J loves to run and has always wished I could go with him. Plus, you don't see many fat runners out there, do you? I really hope this helps me shed the last of my baby weight. I did something stupid while running the other day, it was quite funny! J and I were jogging together while my sister watched the boys. I like to talk while I run to keep my mind off of how terrible I feel, so I was busy talking away. Next thing I know, I'm running into the gaurd rail!!! Ha! Yep, I was THAT girl.

Crock Pot: Ok, baby L is crying for mommy. Kiddo is ready to eat. So, until next time, you'll have to be happy with those first two topics :)

Wed walk with God: More trust.

As I mentioned last week, God is trying to teach me to just trust in Him. I really need to just place all of my concerns in His arms. I have to admit, though, that I'm struggling. J's last day on this contract is very quickly approaching and I'm in a panic about it. Today is Thursday, yesterday he had an interview and I didn't want to post about trusting in God while I was so concerned about the outcome of this interview. While the interview went well, he found out today that he didn't get the job. Hello stress, you're back so soon? Again I find myself trying to trust God with everything. J had another interview today, but this job is even farther away (he commutes over an hour... traffic is terrible :() I already feel like I never see him and it's going to be even worse if he gets this one. But he NEEDS a job! This is no time to be picky. Ugh, I just wish I knew where God was leading us. On the bright side, if nothing else comes up, the company taking over his contract has offered him a position. We are not thrilled with how the new company is handling things and overall have a bad feeling about it, but at this point, a job is a job! Please keep praying for my hubby as he searches for God's path. Pray that it's clear to him what God wants and that we listen and follow Him. Pray for me too as I struggle with trusting God's perfect plan for me and my family :)

Wed and Thur

Wednesday's walk with God:

God is teaching me to trust in Him more and not worry so much. I have been feeling anxious quite a bit lately between J looking for a new job (keep praying! His contract ends at the end of the month....) and Sweet T challenging everything. Plus, I have started worrying about the decisions my kids will (or wont) make as they get older. The fact that I can't make all of their choices is scary. I will have no way of forcing them to do the right things and believe in the Truth of God's Word. T is only 2, L is only 7 months, and I'm already worried about this to the point where it keeps me up at night. Well, it was keeping me up. I shared my feelings with some close friends, and poor J was woken up to talk about it several times, but I'm finally feeling better. God teaches us not to worry about tomorrow. He has my whole life, and that of my children, planned out. He loves my children even more than I do! It's my job to do the best I can, to pray pray pray for my babies, and trust God to fill in where I fall short. He tells us in His Word that if we train a child in the way he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it. I have seen God keep this promise in my own family (extended family). I am learning to just let go, and let God!

Thoroughly clean Thursday:
Big. Huge. FAIL! As I said earlier in the week, I've lost my motivation again. But so far this week, I've been doing somewhat better. T and I try to make sure the living room is cleaned up before J gets home from work. J even said how much he has appreciated it :) Yay for making a happy hubby! A fun project that I've been working on is our cloth diaper storage area. I change 95% of the diapers in our living room, which is the room you walk into when you enter our home. Up until a week ago, I tried to hide all of the diapers next to a couch, but it really looked bad. I started researching ideas but couldn't find anything that would work for us. Then I went to Target and saw an ottoman thing that opened up and has a large area for storage. I showed J and we decided to give it a try. Our living room is pretty small and we want the boys to have as much room as possible to play, especially since L loves tummy time now, so our diaper storage ottoman is still next to the couch, but looks a thousand times better! I currently have a small basket in there with wipes and rash cream, a large shoe box to hold all of our inserts, then two other open areas for the fitteds and the covers. I'm a BIG fan :) I would post a pic of it, but I don't have one right now. I'll see if I can get one together soon. And bonus points: it looks good, it's cushioned, and T can climb all over it (although we're discouraging that one...)

Wednesday's Walk with God: Part 3, Tithing

Again, I'm late on this whole blogging thing. Maybe I need to give up the days of the week part and just write? Nah, I like this even if I'm always late. It fits the rest of my life. Ha!

God has been working on my heart with regards to tithing lately. A lot. He's been dealing with me and money in general, but especially tithing. Basically, I feel like God has been saying "Trust Me." and I've been saying, "yeah, I do. But we have two kids, only one income, a house payment, a car payment, hospital bills, and so on." God replies again with "Trust Me." "yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. Really, I trust You with my life, my kids, everything. But just let me deal with the money part right now..." Arguing with God never works (and I am not saying that God verbally talks to me like I'm writing it out. But He DEFINITELY has been "telling" me this) When J and I first married, we had nothing. Literally. We didn't even have jobs (some might think we were young and stupid... we were :) and looking back I wouldn't change a thing!). But we always made sure to give God first. Of course we quickly found jobs, even if they were only part time. We didn't need much back then. But even with very little, we tithed first. And God took care of us! Somewhere along the line, things changed. While we still tithed, it wasn't necessarily with our "first fruits" and more from what was left over. God doesn't want my left overs. He wants the first pick! Everything I have comes from Him and He doesn't ask for much in return. So J and I have decided that we need to start tithing more, to give God first and trust Him with the rest. A friend once said that this is an area where God tells us to test Him, so we are. Who should we tithe to? Well I feel like that's a very personal question that we each need to decide for ourselves. Our family goes to a church with some wealthy people. The church prints out the financial needs and how much has been given and more often than not, the church's needs are met. I don't always feel led to give to them, although I know others who strongly believe you should tithe to the church. I have lots of missionary friends, whether short or long term missions. I absolutely and completely love to give to missions! I have also enjoyed putting our money toward those who don't have much. For example, at Christmas time we like to "adopt" a child to buy presents for. As the kids get older, I'd like to have them really involved with this; maybe I'll let each kid pick out a child they want to buy presents for and then have them pick everthing out (we buy clothes, toys, and wintery things like hats and gloves). The past couple of weeks, I've felt like God has been placing on my heart to give to the homeless ministry at our church, so that's what we're going to do with a good portion of next month's tithes. I haven't decided yet if I should buy the things I think they need or just donate the money to the guy who heads that ministry, since he knows their exact needs better than I (side note: did you know that homeless people do not like to keep a lot of foods on hand? Even canned and non perishables. Seemed stupid to me at first, until I learned that if they have food, even in storage containers, squirrles come and eat it. Apparently squirrles can chew through almost anything!!! Even coolers. Crazy. But if you decide to go buy tons of stuff for homeless men and women, keep that in mind :))
So now that you've read what I have to say, let's look at what God has to say. Are you tired of reading yet? Lol, I told you that God has been working on me in this area! It's given me a lot to say! I did not gather these verses on my own. I googled it and just c&p from another site to my blog :) It's cheating I know, and probably a little bit of plagerism. Here's the site I got this from :http://www.squidoo.com/biblescripturesaboutmoney

Proverbs 3:9-10

Honor the Lord from your wealth and from the first of all your produce; so your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with new wine.

Exodus 23:19

You shall bring the choice first fruits of your soil into the house of the Lord your God You are not to boil a young goat in the milk of its mother.

Ezekiel 44:30

The first of all the first fruits of every kind and every contribution of every kind, from all your contributions, shall be for the priests; you shall also give to the priest the first of your dough to cause a blessing to rest on your house.

Genesis 28:20-22

Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will keep me on this journey that I take, and will give me food to eat and garments to wear, and I return to my father's house in safety, then the Lord will be my God. "This stone, which I have set up as a pillar, will be God's house, and of all that You give me I will surely give a tenth to You."

Malachi 3:8-10

Will a man rob God Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, 'How have we robbed You ' In tithes and offerings. "You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing Me, the whole nation of you! Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this," says the LORD of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.

Matthew 23:23

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.

2 Corinthians 9:7

Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Luke 12:33-34

Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Proverbs 11:24-25

There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered.

Galatians 6:7

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap

Wednesday's Walk with God: Money, part 2

The last time I blogged on a Wednesday, I wrote about money. Specifically, I listed Bible verses to help me have a better attitude regarding money and to encourage me to be content. Today, I'd like to write about spending money. There are once again two main points we have to consider. The first is that we need to be responsible with our money and the second is that we need to tithe. I'm only going to write about one today, because I'm exhausted and ready for bed :)
Let's talk a little bit about being responsible with our money. Before I start, I feel like I need to say that I'm not a very deep person. I will not say anything that will blow your mind. I just write what God is teaching me, which is usually just very basic stuff :) Ok, so responsibility. I believe that the Bible teaches us to be responsible with all that God has given us, including money. There is a parable about a master who gave three servants some money to take care of for him while he was away. Two servants were wise with their money and made more in return, while one servant hid his money and made nothing in return. The master was pleased with the first two and doubled their rewards. He was unhappy with the third and punished him (if I remember correctly, he fired him and sent him on his way with nothing...). There is another parable about a foolish son who begs his father for his inheritance early and then runs away and spends it all. He ends up losing everything, money, friends, home, and so on. This son gets a job feeding pigs, but it's barely enough. When he finds himself eating the pigs' food, he realizes how foolish he's been and decides to go ask his dad for forgiveness. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, but I completely and fully believe that God wants us to spend our money wisely. We should not go spending our money on every little whim. Those fancy diapers may be super cute, but should I really be spending $35 on a diaper when I already have enough? Do you really need that Starbucks coffee every morning? Is there something more important you should be spending your money on? Should you be preparing for your future instead? It's ok to have nice things, but think about what's really important. Maybe instead of buying another new dress that you will barely wear, you could give that money to your church, or the crisis pregnancy center, or even to a friend who is struggling (but be careful not to offend if you do that...). I'm rambling now, which is usually a sign that it's way past my bed time. Good night folks! Feel free to add your thoughts on how to spend (or save) your money wisely. What is God teaching you right now?

Wednesday's Walk with God: Money

I decided to write about money today, mainly as a reminder to me of how we should handle our money. I have been a little stressed out over money lately and I feel like I need a reminder from Scripture.

First, I need to look at my attitude toward money. I should be careful not to make it too big of a deal, an idol if you will.
Mark 4:19
But the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.

Mark 8:36
For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?

1 Timothy 6:9-11
But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness


Secondly, I need to remember to be content. Money does not meet my needs, GOD does!

1. Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Ecclesiastes 5:10
Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.

Matthew 6:31-33
“Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ “For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Philippians 4:11-13
For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances may be. I know now how to live when things are difficult and I know how to live when things are prosperous. In general and in particular I have learned the secret of eating well or going hungry of facing either plenty of poverty. I am ready for anything through the strength of the One who lives within me.

1 Timothy 6:7-10
For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have.


I wanted to write more regarding money, but I'm tired and I have a cranky baby. I will try to finish my thoughts on this next week. Have a great night, everyone!

Wednesday's Walk with GOD: SHUT UP!

Shut up! Yep, that's what God is teaching me. It started on Sunday when our pastor read a verse from James that says, "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." (James 1:26) I have had a hard time controlling my tongue lately. I say whatever comes to mind without thinking about how it's going to come out or how it's going to affect those around me...particularly my family. And it's not just WHAT I say, but also HOW I say it. Yep, I definitely need to learn to just SHUT UP sometimes. That's all I got right now, so I will end this blog entry with more from James:

1:19-22
My dear brothers, take note of this: Every-one should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Wednesday's walk with God, Excellence.

I have started a new devotional this week. Way back in college, my roommate recommended the book "Becoming a Woman of Excellence," by Cynthia Heald. I bought it on sale but never read it. I decided that now is the perfect time to start it, since I'm really trying to become a better wife, mother, housekeeper, and woman of God. So far, I like it. Sometimes she goes pretty in depth and I feel like it's over my head, so I kind of tune out and then have to re-read things, but I'm sure it's good for me to be reading something that goes deeper. The part that really stood out to me yesterday was one of her "reflections." The author talked about her parents teaching her, "If you are going to do anything, do it right!" She goes on to talk about her life over the past several years and how she felt like she started settling for mediocrity and "just getting by." That really hit me, especially because I had said several times yesterday, "if we make it through this day, I'll be happy." (We had a ROUGH day!) If I continue to settle for just getting by, I'm never going to reach my goals. God has so much more for me than that! Today, I'm not settling for just enough, I'm going beyond, all the way to Excellence... and it will be a challenge, especially after our rough day turned into a terrible night.

Wednesday's walk with God.

This week, God has been working on my attitude. I am a very proud person, especially when I am sleep deprived and feel like I'm constantly giving of myself. I feel like I DESERVE to be pampered and like others should cater to my needs and wants because poor, pitiful me, I have to take care of two small children all day long and that is an extremely demanding job. It's not easy, but more and more I'm realizing that I cannot use that as an excuse forever. Just because I have been up every. single. night for the past four and a half months (with the exception of two nights ago...that was close to heaven, I'm sure), doesn't mean I have the right to be rude, unloving, and selfish. God doesn't not say "Respect your husband, unless you are in a bad mood." He simply says to respect your husband. He does not say to control your tongue unless it's too hard at the moment. Nor does He say that it's ok to fly off the handle because your two year old wipes boogies in your hair (true story... yuck!) God calls me to be a godly wife, mother, and woman at all times, not just when it's easy. So, this week God has been showing me what NEEDS to change, hopefully I'll be able to change those areas (with God's help and lots of grace from my family) in the very near future :)