Thursday, October 11, 2012

My Rollercoaster

It's been a LONG time since I've written on this blog, but with all the ups and downs going on right now, I kind of feel like this might be a good place to get it all out.  A lot has happened since I last posted.  Early July, I found out that... I'M PREGNANT!  YAY!!!!  Had a great ultrasound in August with a healthy baby.  September brought Fifth Disease to our family.  The boys both had it but it wasn't too bad for them.  A blood test revealed that I had it, too.  I blamed all of the symptoms on pregnancy.  "Why is my morning sickness getting worse when it should be getting better???"  "My shoulders are so sore from having to sleep on my side.  So are my hips.  Everything is sore!"  At least I know I'm not crazy ;-)  However, there can be some complications to the baby.  Because of this, I am now seeing a high risk doctor weekly for ultrasounds and to make sure baby is ok.  One benefit to all of this?  It's fun seeing our baby!  We also found out early that she's a GIRL!!!!  YAY!!!!!  My normal anatomy scan isn't for another couple of weeks, so it's fun having extra time to prepare for HER.

The bad part about all of this?  Well, there's a lot of bad parts.  I'll start with the obvious.  There is a chance, although small, that my baby girl could have complications.  If this sickness gets to her, she could stop producing red blood cells (anemia).  If she stops producing them, her heart will have to work harder to make up for the lack of them, which would cause her to go into distress.  Her organs would also fill with fluid.  She would need a blood transfusion before she is even born.  Like I said, the chance of this is small (5-10%).  I'm not TOO concerned, but enough that I feel like I need to write it all down.

Another bad thing about it is that I have to drive 45 minutes away, weekly, for these appointments.  When we found out we would soon have three kids, we upgraded to a minivan.  I LOVE my minivan, but it's not pretty filling up the gas tank.  It would be nice to just go down the street for these appointments.  On days when I can't get the early appointment, I hit rush hour on the way home.  My 45 minute drive can double.  Yuck!!!

The third bad part, and this is more something I just need to get over, is that I hate having to rely on other people all the time to take care of my boys.  I feel like a huge burden to others.  Now, everyone who I've asked to watch them seems more than happy to help, and they all assure me we are NOT an inconvenience.  Generally speaking, my boys are very well behaved (for others, at least).  Plus, I think I have enough people to watch them that I only have to ask them once a month.  I am sure it's not as bad as I make it out to be in my head, but I really stress over this.  Probably more than anything else.  I also worry about how they will do without me if I end up needing to be in the hospital for a couple days, or if I go on bed rest, I will have to rely on people even more...making me an even bigger burden on people.  (the bed rest fear is due to the fact that I had a preemie and they will be checking my dilation early, like as in, starting next week).

So basically, this is where I am right now.  So far, baby looks perfect!  She is showing absolutely no problems.  I'm trying not to worry about next week, and trusting God that He really does have this whole situation covered.  I know He does, I just need to keep trusting Him.

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