Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Thanks, Lord, for working on me :)

As I said in the very beginning of my blog, waaaay back in January, one of my goals is to become a more loving and wise mother.  For whatever reason, that has been a very hard thing for me.  I love my kids, I really, really do.  But my goodness they can dance on my last nerve!  Disciplining in a loving and controlled way used to be a strength of mine, but once L joined our family, something in me changed.  I still desire to discipline my children that way, and I certainly believe that's the best thing for them, but it's just seemed impossible.  For a while, I tried to fix my attitude on my own.  I'd wake up and say to myself, "Today is going to be a great day!  I will not yell, I will remain calm even when the boys are out of control, and everything I do will be in love."  Those very same days, the boys would wake up and seemed to say to themselves, "Today is going to be a great day!  I'm going to scream, hit, bite, and throw the biggest tantrums the world has ever seen!"  It was two against one.  They won those battles.  That's when I started praying about it.  Yes, I prayed for my boys attitudes, but I mainly prayed for mine.  I needed to learn how to respond in a calm manner, to think before speaking (yelling?), to show them the grace my Savior showed me.  I prayed more out of desperation than anything.  Why do we wait so long before handing things over to God?  We think we can handle things on our own, but we can't.  I should have placed this in His hands months earlier.  It would have saved us all from unnecessary frustration and anger!  But anyway, back to the point... finally, FINALLY this week, I feel like I'm starting to get it back.  My old, calm parenting style, that is.  I have been able to handle situations with love instead of anger.  I was able to discipline while using self control instead of lashing out.  I know what the difference's the fact that God is answering my prayer.  He's helping me learn how to be a better mother, a godly example of how a Christian should respond in hard times, how a child (I am God's child, after all) learns by following the Father's advice (the Bible).  I'll keep praying because I have a looooong way to go, but it's encouraging to see God's work in me :)

No comments:

Post a Comment