Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday looks good: discouraged.

Growing up, I had a lot of people comment on my looks. An agent approached my mom once in a restaurant, strangers commented on my beautiful red hair, people would whistle at me as they drove past, a store owner in San Diego swore I'd be on TV someday (and I'm positive he thinks Lindsay Lohan is me, because she starred in Parent Trap soon after that day and we looked very similar). It happened often enough that it didn't catch me by surprise. I was always in some type of dance (or gymnastics, ice skating). I was even the captain of the Cheer leading squad in early high school. I got a lot of my self confidence from my looks. I may not be smart, but I was pretty. As I started getting older, people stopped commenting as often. In fact, people even started commenting on my sister's looks instead of mine (I'll never forget the first time it happened... on the train traveling to CA. 11th grade). I started losing a lot of my confidence and even started feeling a little insecure. By the time I entered college, I wore huge tee shirts in the summer and baggy sweatshirts in the winter. I always threw my hair back into a pony tail and just tried to blend in, not be noticed. Most of my tee shirts were those free ones you get from special events and my sweatshirts were all picked out by my dad (Yikes!) A couple years ago, friends started commenting on my wardrobe and I finally realized that it was time to change. I have to admit, I hate that I have to TRY to look pretty now. It's very humbling for me. I want to wake up and be naturally beautiful again. But that time in my life has past. When I see pictures of myself, I'm very unhappy with what I see. Even my face looks different now. Just older I guess. Today especially, I'm feeling very glum (ha ha, can you tell we watch/read a lot of Thomas the tank engine?). I guess it's time to learn how to style my hair and put on make up :-/

I guess I should also focus more on this:
1 Peter 3:3-4
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.


  1. This makes me very sad! I think you are beautiful.

  2. I don't know what you see when you look in mirror but it's not what we see. You have always been and still are beautiful. I like the fact that what's on the inside is important to you, though.